the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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