Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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