Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
