It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
