Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
