she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
