the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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