I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
