Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
