her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
