i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
