he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
