My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
