She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
