Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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