The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
