no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
