I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
