oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
