She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
