My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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