I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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