week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
