Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
