Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
