Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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