I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
