we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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