so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
