My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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