You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
