He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
