I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
