Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
