how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
