Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize