Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
