So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
