I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
