We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
