well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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