I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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