oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
