If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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