stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
