I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize