Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You're like the curious george of whores
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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