I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
