Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
