his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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