this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
