maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
