Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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