may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
