I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My bed smells like the plague
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
