you would pick up someone in the library
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
