How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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