He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
